11 Simple Practices for Keeping Your Cool During Conflict

Yes, they actually work.

Michele DeMarco, PhD
11 min readMay 21, 2021
Fan blowing with a blurred image of a person.
Photo: Ava Sol / Unsplash

Part Four: This is the final installment of the “How to Tend and Befriend Conflict” series. If you think you know how to deal with conflict, think again.

Just before COVID struck, I was sitting in my car on an onramp waiting to mount the Bay Bridge, the exceedingly long overpass that connects the city of San Francisco to the East Bay. It was raining, and the traffic was at a standstill. Ahead, I could see a figure with a broad hat coming head-on down the ramp. He was staggering, weaving his way staccato-like through the cars, and screaming into the air. He was also waving a bag wildly that appeared to be holding rocks. The next thing I knew, the figure was stopped in front of my car. His eyes, now in view, had the appearance of a Great White shark: wide, black, and ready to attack.

Suddenly, the bag was slamming down on the hood of my car — over and over, as the figure continued to scream into the air and as rocks flew out onto the road. Sandwiched, with nowhere to go, all I could think to do was honk and scream. But when he made his way to the driver’s side, still wielding the bag like a deranged lumberjack, and found the handle that opened the door and began wielding the bag on my head and body, all rational thought gave way to involuntary action. I…

--

--

Michele DeMarco, PhD
Michele DeMarco, PhD

Written by Michele DeMarco, PhD

Award-winning writer, therapist, clinical ethicist, and researcher specializing in moral injury. I talk about the stuff many won’t. micheledemarco.com

Responses (1)