Do the Thing That’s Hard

It’s only hard because it matters that much

Michele DeMarco, PhD
6 min readOct 23, 2021

I recently had to have a medical test that I really didn’t want to have. No, that’s not even close to accurate; “really” could never describe the level of soul-paralyzing fear I felt in the lead up to that day. Every hour was black, filled with dreaded anticipation about what might be revealed. At 3am on the morning of the test, I considered canceling it. Not knowing seemed a far better alternative than carrying the epistemological weight.

But I didn’t cancel it, thankfully, because some voice inside that I couldn’t hear, only felt, whispered, as I stood outside the building, “Harness any hopelessness, collect your courage, and do the thing that’s hard.”

“Harness any hopelessness, collect your courage, and do the thing that’s hard.”

There’s a reason why we put off what we perceive to be difficult undertakings. Sometimes that reason is based in fear or the malaise that comes when an effort seems insurmountable. Other times it may be from a lack of confidence, guilt or shame, exhaustion — or some combination thereof.

Carrying “dreaded anticipation,” or even good, old apprehension, is neither fun nor easy — which is one reason why we often resort to failed coping strategies…

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Michele DeMarco, PhD

Award-winning writer, therapist, clinical ethicist, and researcher specializing in moral injury. I talk about the stuff many won’t. micheledemarco.com